BungalowFever

Someone needs to buy this...

2009-06-12T12:01:00.000-07:00

Because I have no excuse to and it's awesome.

Offi Wave desk for $600:

Another random Etsy find

2009-06-12T10:56:00.001-07:00

Went on Etsy.com today and search for "bird sculpture". This is the delightful weirdness I found on the first freakin page:

Of course, I had to click through to the seller's shop to see what other types of surrealness were on offer.

Yes, that's a poodle with the head of a human skull. Wearing a crown, no less.

Victorian lady with a bunny head. I shit you not, I crap you negatory.

The only question remaining is whether I should go with the "classier" Robin Danny Boy in white or the Boy Chick with Owl Bonnet in a turquoise blue that will really pop against our primarily white walls.

Give me ten yards of pea gravel, STAT!

2009-06-05T11:49:00.000-07:00

via

I'll quit procrastinating next week

2009-06-02T15:14:00.000-07:00

Instead of gardening and home improvement and all that other stuff we're supposed to be up to, this is what we've been doing:

So, yeah, still no movement on the backyard. I've culled some sweet-ass inspiration photos, though.

Liking the geometric concrete pavers contrasted with the black river rocks. (via)

Needless to say, I'm not putting a freakin flat-panel in the backyard, but the metal grating on top of the grass fascinates me. (via)

More concrete pavers plus river rocks, with a lab throw in for good measure. (via)

Pretty much everything that Anna at Door Sixteen is looking at. Especially the wood decks, geometry, and levels at Modular Garden:

Also, fire pit kits, retro bullet planters, and some eco-pavers that are totally not our style but I love the concept.

My not-so-secret shame

2009-04-22T10:57:00.000-07:00

After the inspiration post the other week, photos of the actual backyard should have followed promptly. As they would have, were I not ridiculously embarrassed of how bad it's gotten back there.

"You expect me to poop in this craphole?!"

That was taken from the sliding door in the office, facing southwest. Note side of neighbor's garage and, uh, rustic? shabby chic? fence.

The classy item, the Lutyens bench, was Michael's from before we met. The distinctly unclassy item, the Easter Island head, was a plastic piece of crap I bought off eBay. Go Team Trailer Trash!

Facing west, with the garage wall on the left:

Note rangy lavender bush and bare dirt where the dog leaps from the porch.

Looking south from the north end of the back beck:

The half-wall used to run almost all the way around the perimeter of the deck, but Michael removed all but this side, which blocks the view of our aircon unit, which is older than either of us. Underneath the deck is cracked cement.

Yes, we have a lot of outdoor furniture, none of which matches. This is what happens when you get married as old farts, so there's a lesson in that, somewhere. Also, unused dog crate and, way back and on the right, the wrought iron table that Michael tiled with a representation of the Blessed Virgin Mary. Who said I had all the class in this family?

Also note ghetto corrugated porch cover. What I didn't manage to snap a good photo of is the section above the grill, which buckled pretty severely and started leaking during the recent Snowpocalypse.

Here's a really "great" shot of how crappy the grass looks:

Sod courtesy of dogpiss and spazzed-out labradoodle.

So now it's out there, the reason why I lie and tell people that we don't have a backyard. Hopefully this will be the kick in the slats I need to help Michael get this done. He's already got the entire space exquisitely detailed in Google Sketch Up, so it's only a matter of time until I come home to a driveway piled five feet high with pea gravel.

An attempt at greenthumbery

2009-04-22T10:10:00.000-07:00

I'm a notorious plant killer. I even managed to kill the cilantro plant that I potted in the Grobal self-watering planter, FFS.

Which is why I'm unconscionably proud of the fact that I haven't killed the plants I got from Ikea. Yet.

This is a selection of three succulents that were $2 or $3 each, plus pebbles ($3, IIRC), and a glass dish that the magnolias Michael gave me for Valentine's day were floating in:

I probably should have put pebbles on the bottom for drainage as well, but so far they're doing well under my benign neglect. The grayish-blueish one on the right has even sprouted a baby!

Oh, the irony...

2009-04-07T11:21:00.000-07:00

Just had to post this sort-of knock off of a Risom lounge chair. More "reminiscent of" or "inspired by" than "copy of", though.

Here's the Craigslist find:

And here's the original:

The arms on the original are definitely more elegant, but I actually prefer the rope to the cotton webbing.

Knock it off

2009-04-07T10:55:00.000-07:00

A recent post at Apartment Therapy kicked up the old "licensed vs. knock-offs" debate again, and it got me thinking.

I'm honestly quite torn on this. To a large extent, I agree with one of the commenters on the original post about IP being a less important consideration than issues of sustainability and fair working conditions. If a licensed reproduction is produced in a way that is closer to my principles than an unlicensed reproduction, that's certainly a mark in its favor.

On the other hand, how can Herman Miller justify charging $829 for a 15" walnut stool? The original creator (as well as her estate) has long since been adequately remunerated for her intellectual property.

I've also been at a loss to find any information on the Herman Miller or Vitra websites about where the walnut for this piece comes from or under what conditions it's made. Does it come from an FSC-certified forest? Is the laminate or glue low-VOC? Is it made in the US or other developed country where workers are paid a living wage? Is it made in a union shop?

These are the issues that are important to me, but none of the online retailers I've found provide any information about them. What this tells me is that the appeal of licensed reproductions has less to do with what I consider to be the real value of an object, and more to do with the label.

That said, I still love that stool. I love the lines and the richness of the wood. My M.O. is to haunt Craigslist and other resources until I find one, used. This also prevents the waste and resource use inherent in buying anything new, licensed or not. And if the seller wants to give me a certificate of authenticity, I'll take it and put it in a file folder somewhere, on the off chance I'll need to sell it in the future to some other brand-whore.

Many argue that intellectual property is inviolate, and that if you can't afford the real thing, you should refrain altogether. Leaving aside the fact that it's impractical to ask people to sit or sleep on the floor rather than buy a knock-off (yes, I slept on a blanket in our college apartment for three weeks because I didn't have enough money for a bed), I'm accustomed to doing without until I can afford to pay cash (not credit) for quality. I didn't own a car until a few years after college because I could take the bus to work, and I was raised to believe that car payments are stupid. When I had $7,000 saved up, I bought a used Subaru and drove it with virtually no problems for years.

That's an example of my individual priorities, though, and I'm a terrible hypocrite when it comes to certain things. Like those acrylic tables I ordered last week that were probably made in China. And the Ikea wool rug I bought when I decorated my first house many years ago, which was probably made by child labor, or at least in some third-world hellhole of poverty and abuse. I try to keep my consumption of such things to a minimum, but sometimes my needs, my wants, and my cheapitude get the better of my intentions.

The older I get, the more I try to bring my actions in line with my ideals. Of course, the older I get the more money I have to pay for those ideals, so I can't condemn the choices of those without the resources I have.

In the end, any douchebag with $5,000 to burn can afford a Barcelona lounge chair. It's high-end mass produced, but it's still mass produced. I honestly don't see value in it equal to the cost, especially if there are no guarantees that $5,000 pays for the qualities that truly matter to me, and not just a sticker underneath where I park my ass.

Some of my favorite songs right now...

2009-04-06T11:50:00.000-07:00

Fever Ray, I'm Not Done

Diplo/Kazu, Sushi Chop (via Mad Decent)

He is risen!

2009-04-06T11:12:00.001-07:00

I came into work today to find those plastic Easter eggs scattered around the office. Apparently, the fable of the resurrected rabbit includes a fake mustache, since that's what I found (along with some candy, natch) in the egg nestled in my pencil cup:

Of course, since one facial appendage leads to another, I had to break out the clown nose:

I could go steal the eyepatch from the lady in QA, but would that be too much look?

Etsy shopper

2009-04-06T10:08:00.000-07:00

Style Spy just had a post about a really cute, colorful Kenneth Jay Lane necklace:

At $300, that's a little steep for enamel. Being the ~~cheap-ass Pollack~~ frugal shopper I am, I went to my go-to source for all things jewelry - Etsy!

For $165:

For $129 (and how can you go wrong with a seller called "bionicunicorn"?)

For $96 (plus a little more in shipping, since the seller is in the UK):

For $32 (a little more subdued in weight and palette, but still a statement necklace):

Actually, I think that last one's my favorite. Gotta love the red-and-turquoise combo.

Disappearing tables

2009-04-03T10:44:00.000-07:00

Last Sunday, I went a little nuts and bought a bunch of houseplants at Ikea. Once I got them home and potted up, I realized that we have a dearth of side tables. So, I want places to put plants (and beverages and remotes and maybe feet), but I don't want to clutter up the joint visually.

I'd been eying cb2's acrylic nesting tables for a while, but after browsing the site, found I preferred the Monacle [sic] side table (possibly because it shows up in the apartment of that muscle-bound, tattooed pixie on Color Splash):

(BTW, it's backordered until the end of April, despite what the website may say.)

I also ordered this acrylic side table from Overstock:

Both are on sale for about $100 each.

I'm still toying with the idea of getting this for the entry way. $295's a little much for acrylic, though, don't you think?

Landscaping inspiration

2009-03-30T16:11:00.000-07:00

The Hotel Modera is a hip new refurbished hotel right around the corner from my office. I found myself making detours to pass by the courtyard during my regular preprandial perambulations, so I figured I should take some photos.

I love the slat fencing and contemporary angularity of the design:

On the right (South) side are tables and chairs separated by concrete planters and benches. Note superfly plant wall and right-angled lines of planting beds:

The grass coming though the void in the pavers adds height and interest to the layout:

I like how the geometry of the pavers (and even the plantings) is broken up by the organic, rough stone. The cement "bench" provides seating and directs flow:

Different plants are arranged with zinc (? the same material as the fire pits and planters, I think) on the plant wall, giving it an unexpected patchwork feel:

The groundcover coming up randomly and the living wall keeps the geometry of the pavers from being boring:

The two sides of the courtyard are separated by wooden decking and a glass pergola, which is great in a climate where most of our sunshine comes in liquid form (and no, I'm not talking about beer):

The North side of the courtyard has outdoor seating arranged around fire pits with ground cover of crushed oyster? Gravel? Not sure:

The fire pits are made out of the same oxidized metal as some of the panels on the plant wall and the gigantor planters:

That's a metric shedload of euphorbia, Itellyouwhut.

We're planning on using this as an inspiration for a dog-friendly backyard transformation this year. Once I overcome my shame, I'll post photos of the current condition of Jake's playground and craporium as a "before".

The five little words every woman loves to hear...

2009-03-30T11:11:00.000-07:00

"Let's get a new toilet."

The basement bathroom is, well, a basement bathroom. We've tried to gussy it up with kicky paint and a Warhol-ish shower curtain, but it's still cramped and somewhat grim. Perfectly suitable for ~~terrorizing~~ bathing the dog, but it's not optimized for human use. Namely the toilet. Specifically, the seat. It's small. So small that, um, manparts hit the inside when owner of said manparts sits. Or so I'm told.

Elongated bowl it is, then! Being a good treehugging guilty liberal, I immediately found the EPA list of high-efficiency toilets. Unfortunately, my old standby, HomeClick.com, is out of business, at least for now.

I'm currently on the fence between the Toto Acquia II dual flush terlet and the Toto Eco-Drake 1.28 GPF terlet. The former is apparently a pain in the ass to install, but more efficient for, uh, number ones.

Either way, we'll be eligible for a $100 rebate, and no one will have to deal with their junk bumping up on a toilet seat anymore.

Short hair: pros and cons

2009-03-25T15:07:00.000-07:00

Pros:

Dries faster
Uses less shampoo/product
Healthier
Doesn't get stuck in lip gloss
Hides gray hairs
Lends itself to faux hawks and shampoo horns
Encourages comparisons to Audrey Hepburn/Jean Seberg
Differentiates wearer from ponytail-wearing, LARPing comic book guy
No weave for mouthy hos at the club to pull out

Cons:

Mongoloid rooster bedhead
More frequent salon trips
Less overtly feminine
Can't hide unfortunate Habsburg chinzilla or talking zit
No one notices when you get your hair cut
Delaying salon visit can lead to incipient mullet and/or "Chachis"

The new "Keep Calm and Carry On"

2009-03-25T13:28:00.000-07:00

Yes, everyone's sick to death of the ubiquitous "Keep Calm and Carry On" posters sprouting up all over Etsy.com like mushrooms after a rain storm. Just as KCaCO replaced "FOR LIKE EVER", a new cheeky text-heavy poster available in multiple colorways shall eventually win the to-the-death cage-match of cutesy poster supremacy. My vote's for one of these, from two Canadian dudes known as Whigby:

Each combines a famous quote (from Sigmund Freud, George Orwell, and Frank Lloyd Wright, respectively) and silhouette on a 19.5" x 26.5" silkscreen.

Also available from Velocity art and design and probably a lot of other sites I'm not familiar with.

The Bugatti in the barn...

2009-03-23T15:47:00.000-07:00

You know those stories about the city slicker who breaks down in unincorporated East Catfart, hoofs it to a farmhouse to ask for assistance, and is led by the elderly gentleman resident to a barn to scrounge for tools only to come upon an untouched 1921 Bugatti Brescia Tourer that said farmer claims he'll sell for a pittance? Okay, this isn't anywhere near as orgasmically, impossibly awesome as the Bugatti in the barn, but it's definitely a steal:

Heywood Wakefield expandable dining table. The seller's asking $150, and apparently doesn't realize this table's worth between $1,500 and $1,800. Even if it's scratched to shit, it's still a great deal. I'd totally buy it if I had, you know, a dining room.

Oh, that knock at the door? It's probably not a sexy pizza delivery person. You can quit composing that email to Penthouse Forum.

Better like this?

2009-03-23T15:32:00.001-07:00

or like this?

I think I like the Charley Harper print better, but neither of them really cream my twinkie.

It's baaa-aaack

2009-03-20T14:02:00.000-07:00

mommy?!

These boots were made for stomping zombies

2009-03-20T09:52:00.000-07:00

About two months back, I realized that my kitten-heel black boots with the wafer-thin sole probably weren't the most appropriate footwear to be stomping around downtown in, considering I was covering 2+ miles a day in them. At the same time, I was seeing a lot of flat boots around, some equestrian, some not so much, and coveting the easy, comfortable look. But in the back of my mind, there was still a howling, gibbering desire for this:

Needless to say, going for the whole look isn't an option. There's not a whole lot of opportunity for a supportive undergarment there, and the weaponry might get a little heavy on my commute. Oh, and Eric Brown busted out the seams of my favorite red dress in college (I still have those photos, Eric) and I haven't found one I liked since.

What I could emulate, though, are those boots. And suddenly there's the confluence of current trend and poignant longing for badassery to enable my purchase of footwear.

According to this site, you can actually buy the "hero" boots (I think that means Milla's feet were actually in them — if you're into that kind of thing) for $4,500:

This is one of those times I start thinking how cool it would be if I won the lottery, then realize I'd be the most stupidly profligate newly-minted millionaire ever and end up on one of those TLC shows moaning about how my periodontist cheated me out of seven figures.

The closest match I'd been able to find were the Camper Spiral boots. Which I could never find both a) on sale and b) in my size. I love Campers, but not $200+ worth.

After that burst of urgency that, for me at least, usually follows several years of stubborn longing thwarted by self-denying cheapness, I ended up buying these, gratuitous hardware and all:

They turned out to be a great compromise between looks and fit — the front of the calf is a nice leather, and the back is that stretchy fake stuff that hooker boots are made out of. Respectable equestrienne in the front, crack ho in the rear! I found a 20% off coupon at RetailMeNot.com, and shipping was free, so I ended up paying only $108.76 for them! And frankly, when you're preparing for the Zombiepocalypse, $108.76 is a small price to pay for comfortable, reliable footwear.

Besides, you need to save your money for your emergency food kit and zombie survival guide. DUH.

Stimulating the economy, one denim garment at a time

2009-03-19T14:32:00.000-07:00

I guess I'm still high from the rush of getting a pair of Kut from the kloth trouser jeans for $10 at the Rack the other day, because I just went and bought this on my lunch:

I've been wanting to get a pencil skirt for a while, but hadn't found one that fit right until today. It was $42.99, not $44.99 (I know, "I WANT MY TWO DOLLARSSS!"), which is more than I usually like to spend on overpriced Made in China BR crap, but it fit really well! And I resisted the siren call of this:

Which is probably a good thing, unless I get a job as a roadside flagger. In that case, I'm going to be kicking myself.

I know it's not politically correct, but...

2009-03-17T09:12:00.000-07:00

I lurve the exotic leather accessories from Etsy seller Unearthed. Specifically, the brightly colored stingray cuffs:

The colors are brilliant for spring, and I love the concept of something so luxe that almost goes over the top into looking fake and plasticy. Kind of like the purple patent handbag that I like to bust out randomly. That shit retailed for almost $800 (no, I didn't pay anything close to that), but looks like it could have fallen off a truck behind Forever 21.

The sisters behind Unearthed also do some beautiful and original work with alligator and other skins, but how can you say no to the stingray? One of them took out Steve Irvin and left that adorable reject from The Dark Crystal without a daddy. The least I can do is enable some eye-for-an-eye with a lovely accessory.

Living room, before and (sort of) after

2009-03-13T12:01:00.000-07:00

Before:

After (kinda):

I'd been told that the clock above the fireplace was too small, so I moved that into the bathroom and replaced it with the Charlie Harper print from the kitchen. We also got rid of the brass fireplace screen and tools that came with the house (along with the window treatments that we've never bothered to replace). We don't use the fireplaces anyway, so no harm, no foul.

Still up in the air on art for above the fireplace. I have a large Ork poster of Portland in the black and white with a chrome frame that I may try there. If I do, I'll post a photo.

The marble-topped tables in the Before were actually nightstands from Michael's loft-dwelling bachelor days and were no way, no how going to fit in our 1964-sized bedroom. Unless we decided to share a twin bed, which, not so much. The hanging shelves are Elfa from the Container Store (anyone want to take them off my hands?!), and probably one of the more foolish purchases I've made for the house. Sometimes frugal screws up functional, you know?

I'd started thinking that with the ability to work from home, I should really invest in a convenient, uncluttered place to work. Previously, my laptop and assorted recharging doo-dads all lived on the kitchen island, which was a daily visual annoyance and not that comfortable. I'd also noticed that outside of the holidays, we just weren't using the living room. It had become what I sneer at - a visiting priest room. Which is all wrapped up in counter-aspirational class issues for me and fairly pointless since we've only had a priest at our house once, and we hung out in the backyard anyway.

I suspect I initally saw ISS Designs advertised in the back of Atomic Ranch or Dwell. It kept cropping up, though, as a period-appropriate and infinitely customizable, if painfully expensive, solution to both problems. I finally pulled the trigger around Christmas, and finally got the cabinets delivered in February:

Gods bless Michael and his calloused hands for installing it all. I'd forgotten about the tray ceiling when I placed the order for 8' poles. Which meant Michael had to take the poles to his shop to cut 2" off of them. Sorry, hon.

Now we have a much more cohesive look, more storage, and I have a Corner of My Own. I still want to get a bigger rug, something cool to hang above the fireplace, and more color, but that's all superficial. The shelving and can lights were good investments in actual functionality.

Lookit what I got!

2009-03-12T15:04:00.000-07:00

They need a little cleaning up, but I've been wanting one since renting a house in Black Butte Ranch years ago that had the Yugoslavian knock-offs of the Wegner ones and this pair was only $200. I really like the ebonized wood, and don't miss the handles on the inspiration chairs.

Terry's socks?

2009-03-11T11:28:00.000-07:00

In a sporadically frantic attempt to find affordable big art that didn’t come from Ikea, I found Terry's Posters, an enormous selection of film posters. Which rocks for several reasons. First, it's Czechoslovakian, and so am I (partially). Second, the prices are fairly affordable, although there are some pricier options in the "Best of" and "Rarities" sections. Third, it has an entire section of posters for Czech versions of US films, which are SO MUCH cooler than the US versions:

Jaws 2:

So eastern bloc and constructivist compared to the cheesecake US version

Short Circuit:

Wasn't this a kids movie? Maybe this was actually the poster from Terminator or something.

Poseidon Adventure:

Okay, the US version has them beat on the tagline ("Hell, upside down"? Hell, yeah!), but the "cast of thousands" yearbook page look blows ass.

Duel:

Face it, every version of this movie poster kicks ass because this movie kicks ass.

With the exception of the last, the posters are way more interesting than the films were.

Of special note - check out the ability to search by actor or director. I think the Czechs have a serious Thing for Clint Eastwood, because those are the awesomest.

Is anyone else gloating?

2009-02-26T15:14:00.000-08:00

Because I am, and I'm one of those Johnny-come-lately gentrifiers.

Frankly, the idea of moving to a neighborhood with the sole intention of changing it annoys me. I don't see how the "creative class" wanting to replace the muffler shops and martial arts studios with art galleries and coffee bars are any different than the suburbanites who move out to the exurbs and start bitching about the smells coming from the 100-year-old family dairy farm next door. Why are the latter scorned and the former hailed as saviors?

Am I a big fan of the Sysco mashed potatoes at the old-school diner down the street? Not particularly. But I do see the parking lot full of trucks and Buick sedans just about every morning, which signals that me and my biodiesel-driving brethren aren't the only life in this neighborhood. Just because we had the poor timing to pay more for our houses doesn't mean we're entitled to make over this corner of the world in our image.

I guess I have enough handmade soap, too, Mr. Waldie.

Smell it.

2009-02-22T13:06:00.000-08:00

Most of my current perfumes are way floral (Eclat d'Arpège, Hervé Léger, Fleur de Colette). I have a fondness for spicier scents, but I'm still put off of wearing scents that remind me of my mom and her Opium addiction. No, not that opium. Yeah, okay, that opium too, but I'm specifically referring to the Proustian memory of sitting on the floor next to my mom's vanity table, choking on the heady compound fug of hairspray, chain-smoked Winstons, and Opium.

I had a fancy dinner to go to after work the other week, and, true to my, uh, "frugal" nature, I stopped at Nordstrom on my way over to take advantage of the testers in the makeup area. I also swung through the adjacent fragrance department to see if there was anything more suitable for an evening out and decided to try Annick Goutal's Mandragore:

I found myself sniffing my arm surreptitiously throughout the evening, and decided to head over to the Perfume House to check it out. After a brief flirtation with Caron Sacré – um, hello powdery old lady! – and a break to have lunch and do some window shopping, I stuck with the Mandragore. I would have preferred the smaller 1.7 oz size, but they only had the 3.4 oz and, well, I'd rather spend a little more at a local shop to make sure they're still around the next time I'm in the mood for a perfume orgy. Also, I got the more masculine version of the bottle, so maybe I can convince Michael to wear it.

I feel like I smell more, well, adult. Not in a porny way, but more grown up.

Art for the masses

2009-02-11T13:40:00.000-08:00

Just found ViewVille.com through one of my Hansel-and-Gretel-esque compulsive link-following expeditions.

Some favorites:

Color 14 by Paul Nelson

Daydream by Wendy Cooper

Chair by Bootsy Holler

Shake by Bob McNamara

I can't vouch for the quality of the prints, never having ordered from them, but with prices starting around $65 for an 8x10 print, it's worth the risk to have something fairly unique.

A new way to look for a house

2009-02-07T08:00:00.000-08:00

Sometimes searching by zip code or other criteria doesn't provide enough context to find homes in the neighborhoods you really want. HomeQuest, a local Portland company, has an application that makes it a lot easier, and, frankly, more fun.

To see an example, check out Ron Ares's blog, choose a region in the left column, and start clicking on neighborhoods on the map. Not only is this a great way to see the context of a house as well as details about it, it's an easy-to-use tool for homeowners to see what's for sale near them, and how much it's listed for. Of course, integrating Google maps into your application is never a bad idea.

The expand/collapse functionality of the search filters is another great widget that more sites are using nowadays, mostly to great effect.

My only suggestion at this point is to add a feature, similar to MapMyRun.com, that allows user to draw lines on the map that would serve as boundaries. I'd love to be able to search specifically in one area that I can determine, or even exclude properties in an area.

At the risk of sounding like Dr. Seuss,

2009-02-04T21:25:00.000-08:00

Crockpot chicken stock effing rocks! I did an unplanned janky version, but this Chowhound thread encouraged me to let it go overnight, and I'm so glad I did. Really nice, clear, dark stock.

Urban Outfitters Sale Items

2009-02-04T15:07:00.000-08:00

If Forever 21 sold home decor items, I'd probably buy them. Needless to say, I'm too damn old for the clothes at Urban Outfitters, but I love their bedding and other "Apartment" items. Except for the rugs. They're always too small.

Just bought:

Grobal self-watering plant pot for $10 (Amazon is selling it for $20):

Dots wall art (above the fireplace?):

Love pillowcases (we always need new pillowcases):

Oh, and use promo code "27WELCOME" to get another 10% off!

Faux Bois

2009-02-04T14:52:00.000-08:00

I know, nautical is the new woodland, but damn if I don't still love a good faux bois.

Valentine gift for the hubby? Faux bois tie to the rescue:

Another V-Day idea, a sentimental poster with woodgrain accents:

This one has to be my favorite:

Invisible people on the internet have been trying to talk me out of this sucker for a while.

If you're in Portland...

2009-02-02T10:27:00.001-08:00

... and you need a mirror, consider this. I've have one in the bedroom for a few years now (heh), and am still in love with it.

Gods* Help Me

2009-02-01T13:48:00.000-08:00

I keep coming back to this craigslist post. For posterity, it's this chair with yellow upholstery:

Michael won't even talk me out of it! What the hell did I marry him for?!

* A shout-out to the frakking B*G fans.

Side Ways

2009-02-01T13:12:00.000-08:00

After a recent incident involving a precariously perched bowl of leftover stir-fry (goddamn non-washable sisal rugs), I started compulsively window shopping online for side tables.

Some contenders, based on our decor, which is part mid-century modern, part mom's antiques, and part "I want to be Kelly Wearstler, or at least have her hair":

The Rectangle Screw Stool (heh) from Target:

Also from Target, the Branch Side Table:

The former has a nice modern yet earthy vibe, the latter is more woodsy with (hopefully) a refined take from the black finish.

I've also been on the lookout for a new table to go in the entryway. The one that used to hang out there just got moved to the recently rearranged guest room. Sadly, while moving it we discovered an unused $100 Linens 'n Shit gift card in the drawer (insert Nelson Muntz "HAW-haw" here). Which makes me think that whatever replaces it might not need a drawer in it, if I'm going to be that lame about tucking things away and then digging them up, worthless, two years later and beating myself up about it.

Whatever ends up there needs to work with the new mirror I impulse-ordered the other day:

Yes, I know. Antlers are over. Shut up, it was on sale.

Which means that my frustrated H'wood Regency urge for this entry table shall go unfulfilled. One of these days I'll be able to convince Michael to let me indulge my perverse Wearstler girl-crush, but this is not a mirrored hill I want to die on.

The reality is that the thrill of the hunt is the best part, and frankly, my White Liberal Guilt is such that I'd prefer to buy something vintage off of Craigslist anyway.

Merry X-mas, from the Doofuses

2007-11-26T20:31:00.000-08:00

My friend Jane took some photos of us and the dog for our Christmas card, and also just to have around. Michael nixed this one, but it's one of my faves, so I figured I'd post it.

Say it with me now: "AWWWW"

I hate that painting, incidentally.

Best. Apple Pie. EVER.

2007-11-23T16:02:00.000-08:00

First, a caveat: this isn't really pie. It's more like a cakey danish in a pie plate. But oh my dear is it good. At a Thanksgiving potluck last night, it was declared an "addiction". Apt praise in this crowd, although a bit disturbing. I'm regretting not taking photos, because while it didn't look all that impressive, it did look... comforting. Basically, this is a good dessert to make when you don't feel like dealing with pie crust, you don't want to use store bought, and you want something relatively simple and homey that goes well with vanilla ice cream.

Norwegian Apple Cake Pie

Ingredients

1/2 cup (1 cube) butter

1 1/4 cups flour

1 tsp baking powder

1/4 tsp salt

3/4 cup + 4 tsp sugar

1 egg

1/2 tsp vanilla

1 1/2 cups peeled grated apple (about one and one half apples, I like golden delicious)

1/2 tsp cinnamon

Pinch nutmeg

Pinch ground cloves

Directions

Preheat oven to 375°. Cut together butter, flour, baking powder and salt as you would for pie crust. Add 3/4 cup sugar and mix well. Beat egg, add vanilla, and stir into flour mixture—the result may be crumbly. Spread half of dough in bottom of greased pie plate.

Drain and lightly press some liquid out of apple (don’t squeeze all liquid out) and add 4 tsp sugar, cinnamon, nutmeg and cloves and mix well. Spread apple and spices evenly over dough in pie plate. Cover with remaining dough. Bake at 375° for 30 minutes or until sides and top are golden brown. Spread thin powdered sugar icing over cake while warm (not hot).

Props to my coworker who made this for a pie content at work and her grandma, who gave her the recipe.

My Favorite Work Accessory

2007-10-30T20:27:00.000-07:00

Like most women, I'm almost always cold. Especially at work, where I'm chained to a desk with few excuses to get up and move about. Hence, the technically verboten space heater. And these:

Love Hate Fingerless Gloves from Urban Outfitters, $12

Positively filmic, yes?

Excavating Etsy

2007-10-30T14:38:00.000-07:00

My current favorite item on Etsy:

A Useful Government Publication. No, Really.

2007-10-25T13:08:00.000-07:00

During my recent review of all things usability, I came across Research-Based Web Design & Usability Guidelines from the HHS department. I ordered the book itself, but you can actually download and print the entire book in PDF format, if you like.

It's basically a compendium of most of what Jared Spool, Jakob Nielsen, et al have written about already, but it ranks individual issues on a scale of 1-5 based on strength of evidence (i.e., research-based or expert opinion) and relative importance—helpful metrics when you have limited time and/or resources and need to prioritize site enhancements. These are well-organized guidelines, generously illustrated and thoroughly cited, that allow you to back up your assertions of what makes a good user interface.

The downside? I didn't get to order it from Pueblo, Colorado.

Early Christmas Shopping

2007-10-19T14:31:00.000-07:00

Yes, I'm getting started early. No, I don't want to hear any guff about it. Here are a few things I'd like to buy for someone, but can't figure out who I'd give them to:

Atypyk 'Be Tough' T-Shirt from Charles & Marie, $40.

Gun Flower Vase, Uncommon Goods, $50.

Gun and Dagger Necklace, Erica Weiner, $35.

You can see my dilemma.

i can has midsentchury modurn?

2007-10-17T13:02:00.000-07:00

Dunno if they're authentic or not, but I got some Saarinen chairs from eBay. Fortunately, the cat likes them.

Farewell, Bungalow

2007-01-04T19:25:00.000-08:00

Yes, I sold it ages I go. Yes, I'm only now getting around to putting the photos up. No, I don't want to hear your guff.

Curb appeal:

Living room:

Dining room:

Upstairs bathroom:

Backyard:

Kitchen:

Downstairs bathroom:

Master bedroom:

I still miss the skylight and seven foot high shower spray in the old upstairs bathroom. Maybe I'll keep writing entries, even though I don't live in a bungalow anymore. Hell, maybe I'll just write about the puppy!

RanchFever, Kitchen Edition

2006-04-13T12:24:00.000-07:00

The kitchen is almost done, and while I haven't taken photos since the cool stuff (floor, counters, sink, etc.) came in, I feel compelled to post photos of the kitchen from a few weeks ago, so that the eventual unveiling will be even more fantastic:

Here we see Michael (look at the birdie!) installing the last of the cabinets, the one for the sink, which he had to MacGyver a heating vent/duct thingie into. There was so much MacGyvering going on with these cabinets, in fact, that I was afraid he'd come home one day with a sun-streaked mullet. Fortunately, there was no bi-level action, and I learned an important lesson. The guys who install cabinets for a living definitely earn their pay.

This was taken from the back foyer looking in. Note lovely blue accent wall, cool artichoke lamp and stylin' reeded glass panel which Michael installed to make the entryway brighter.

This is the peninsula, which I have christened Monster Island. Also note Michael's rump in the left side of the frame. Heh. Rump. Anyway, that's the electric cooktop (with big, burly knobs that are easy to grab onto when you're covered in marinara sauce and trying to keep the quinoa from boiling over AGAIN) which also required massive rejiggering of cabinets to make fit. Michael cut those holes out of the wall that separates the kitchen from the gloomy hallway to let in more light and have another opportunity to use, yes, reeded glass blocks. We still have to figure out a way to cement those in there without risk of one of us pushing a glass block through accidentally and crippling the cat.

Much more has been done since I took these photos, and I'm hoping to take more this weekend during Paintapalooza. Stay tuned!

RanchFever, The Bathroom Edition

2006-04-03T11:21:00.000-07:00

I finally got a chance to take photos in the new house that Michael's been laboring on for months now. Obviously, the stars of the show are the completely gutted and remodelled kitchen and bathroom—you don't think I'd leave my Dream Bath behind without something better, did you?

The vanity is actually a stand-alone piece of furniture that we picked up at a discount because it had a few nicks in the the top. We used a wood-colored pen, covered the top with glass, and installed the sinks (Kohler Chord vessel sinks, single-hole version) on top of that. Sounds easy, but it wasn't. A lot of careful hole-drilling and plumbing went into this set-up.

The faucets were a bit of an ordeal. I was set on using a more delicate gooseneck faucet, namely, the Elba from La Toscana, which is pretty much a bargain-basement version of the various > $300 versions from Porcher and Grohe. However, no one had it in stock, the wait time kept growing longer and longer, and I finally decided that it was just a lavatory faucet (two of them, actually), not a husband (heh) and the Danze Sonora, while more beefy than my preferred selections, would do just fine.

And now, the shower:

As on the vanity backsplash/shelf, note glass mosaic tile. I think I need an inervention, as I keep indulging in more and more high-end versions of this stuff. The American Olean green blend is more expensive that the Hakatai Carter blend I used in the last bathroom, but it's also more transparent and provides a much more interesting sense of depth. Per the suggestion of the designer we consulted, we decided to have the standard white subway tile laid vertically. It reminds me of bamboo, strangely enough.

Michael's got the glass shower doors ready to install. I'm really glad I'm not the one who has to drill through that tile, frankly.

Okay, time to sell the house now.

2006-01-12T09:48:00.000-08:00

Downstairs bathroom remodel is officially finito!

The new vanity and medicine cabinet, scandalously cheap at Lowes:

And the new, refinished tub (worth the $875, IMO) with the very klassy shower curtain Evil Amy gave me for x-mas:

Big ups to Michael for spending the majority of Monday getting the thing hooked up with the new faucet and plumbing.

I saved all my receipts for the express purpose of figuring out how much this cost and posting the result. My only regret is that I didn't take photos of the intact "Before" to contrast with the "After".

Clean Slate

2005-12-24T14:39:00.001-08:00

The tub's out, the toilet's still providing extra seating in the dining room (I'm not sure whether to be pleasantly surprised or find it hilarious that the cleaning ladies dusted it), but at least everything's painted:

Silent Bob likes the new Marmorette:

Beige. Just like her personality.

Bonfire of the Vanities

2005-12-11T10:05:00.000-08:00

It's really too bad that Portland has one of those pesky no-burn restrictions, because good lord, would I love to torch this sucker and dance with abandon around the wild, flickering flames:

That ugly-ass POS motorscooter took me hours to remove, mainly because the man who installed it, bless his heart, attached it to the studs with 3" screws. My neck still hurts from wedging myself under that damn thing with an battery-operated screwdriver, which was thankfully designed with a light to illuminate your work. (Note to Stockholm: I'd like to officially nominate whoever came up with that little improvement for a Nobel Prize of some sort.)

Probably the worst part of this little endeavor (worse than the sore shoulders) is the aftermath:

This is what's fallen through the partially open bottom of the vanity over the fifteen or so years that it's been crouching in that spot. I have NO IDEA where that toilet brush came from, and that oversize Barbie futon is certainly not my brand of maxi-pad. Ew.

Even worse, though:

The p-trap, or whatever the hell that thing is called. It's hard to tell from the photo, but it looks like someone washed their irish wolfhound and then expressed its anal glands into that thing. Smells like it too. Canine anal juice and rotten eggs blenderized with dry cleaning fluid might be a better description of the stench.

Anyway, the grossest part is probably over. Next up on the agenda: moving the light fixture receptacle. Which is going to be a whole ton of fun with old plaster and lathe walls and wiring that dates back to the Eisenhower administration. Wish me luck.

Stop Me Before I Demo Again

2005-12-09T10:53:00.000-08:00

The new bathroom's been done, what, a month now? And I'm already ripping apart the downstairs bathroom. I've sent the leprotic tub out to Stanley Avenue to be sandblasted, refinished and painted, and you can see where I couldn't paint the walls years ago when the tub was in the way:

Yeah, I know. The colors are kinda Kuntry Kutesy. I messed up on that one, I'll admit it, so I'm repainting. The walls are going to be repainted two-tone beige (darker above the chair rail). I'm also removing the old vinyl tile:

It comes up pretty easily when the subfloor is wet from the effort of disconnecting and removing the tub (oops), but gets a bit harder as you get further away from the water spill. This is where you quickly reacquaint yourself with Mr. Heat Gun, who has more than earned his keep in the five years since I paid $20 for his valuable services.

I have a target of getting the floor up, the toilet temporarily removed, the vanity demo'ed, the light fixture moved, the woodwork sanded, and the walls painted by Thursday when the linoleum installer is coming. And did I mention Michael's out of town? Pray for me.

New Construction

2005-12-08T15:19:00.000-08:00

New rowhouses, almost completed near Alberta in NoPo:

Pretty cool, huh? Turns out my former coworker's husband is working on it. Nice to see more modern residential design on the east side.

Money Shots

2005-11-21T11:10:00.000-08:00

Well, here it is, the ne plus ultra, the Final Final, at least when it comes to this bathroom. All that's left is to cough up the dough for a decent set of towels and crud up the shower with all my girly potions and unguents.

Low perspective of the kneewall, looking in from the hall:

Pressed up against the terlet, looking out of the door:

A better shot of the shower:

Shower wall (notice how the tile follows the angle of the ceiling#8212;I'll bet there was much cussing over that):

The back wall of the shower, showing the niche:

Shower pan and angled seat-like thing where I hike up my legs to shave 'em:

Another one of the seat/ledge:

Vanity (an Ikea kitchen piece which everyone thought looked like ass until the cabinets went in):

Speshul terlet with softclose seat (below wall cabinet from Target's Isaac Mizrahi line of bathroom accessories):

Some interesting notes: The crown molding, which would have been impossible to miter together because of all the angles, was actually coped with a jigsaw and fitted together (a technique I'm totally psyched to teach myself). The privacy film on the windows (necessary due to the fact that my next door neighbor's teenage daughter's bedroom window is directly across and only about ten feet away from my bathroom window) came from Ikea, and wasn't too hard to install. The equivalent stuff from Home Depot cost 10X more and didn't obscure enough, uh, "detail". It is a clear glass walled shower, after all.

So there it is. The money shot. Now I have to decide whether or not it's worth continuing the blog, considering that I ain't doing anything like that again any time soon. I guess I could post photos of cool houses in Portland (or ones that put the "bung" in bungalow) and details of other projects I'm planning. I'll have to see if the ordeal of painting crappy kitchen cabinets is a worthy enough topic to blog about.

Not with a bang...

2005-11-17T16:34:00.000-08:00

It's done. Final inspection has been passed, everything's working. It's actually been physically finished, intact, for weeks now, but I didn't want to post for fear of jinxing it.

Whenever I used to hear some over-bred suburban yuppie talk about how awful and stressful her latest kitchen remodel was, I would roll my eyes with derision. Talk about a first-world problem: "Wah! I couldn't fix Snotleigh and McTravesteigh mac and cheese for six whole weeks while the electricians rewired the entire house to accomodate the restaurant-quality twelve burner gas range I'll never use except to heat up jars chocolate sauce that I'll gobble down whole in the middle of the night in order to feed the growing sense of emptiness in my soul! Wah!"

Well, now I'm that whiny waste of skin. All in all, the project wasn't that bad. I got along with everyone involved (with one exception) and got a pretty sweet bathroom out of the deal. Christ, though, it took its toll. I've never been comfortable pigeonholing myself as an extrovert or an introvert—frankly, I swing back and forth between the two like a schizoprenic Courtney Love on a stripper pole. What I finally realized in a big way is that while I enjoy the company of others and can do well in social situations, I need time and space to recharge. In the mornings, when I running around getting ready for work, interruptions throw me off track and I start dreading the rest of the day. It's a trite Cathy-ism, but you really shouldn't try to talk to me before my first cup of coffee. I've managed to alienate just about every neighbor and coworker by snubbing them in the morning.

God, I hate Cathy.

Anyway, I had to be on. I had to be on and friendly and not growl at people starting at 7:30 or 8:00 in the morning and lasting into the evening. It was the evening (going into late night) intrusions that finally broke me and turned me into a shreiking she-harpy Gorgon of Doom and killed my excitement and goodwill and happy-smiliness on this project. The lesson I learned is not to put up with anything that annoys me for even a day. Because first, I'm paying these folks to come and do a job for me, and I should be able to determine when that job gets done. I mean, I have to be here from 8 to 5 (although I do goof off in the office and, well, write in my blog so maybe that's a bad reason). Second, if I keep bending over backward to accomodate people, not only will they keep doing whatever it is that's annoying me, not realizing that I'm turning into a twitchy repressed freak, I'll eventually lose my shit all over them and that's not pretty.

I also learned a lot about where my limits are, how to take what I'm being offered, that Michael is a clever, supportive man, and that while tile guys are fairly high up in the construction food chain, they are shithouse-crazy oversharers and there's a reason why they do a job that requires them to be isolated from others.

Because I haven't wanted to jinx it, I haven't taken photos since I took the painters tape off the Frameless! Shower! Doors! I promise I will take photos this weekend and post them, because it really does look beautiful. Prettier than any other bathroom because I drew the plans and picked everything and suffered through, what? nine months? of construction. It was worth it.

It Ain't Easy Being Green

2005-10-09T19:02:00.000-07:00

I got the plants in! I chose Saturday to work on it, which was kinda stupid, since rain was forecast. So I'm thinking, Hey, gardening in the rain is cool! It'll soften up the earth and make digging so much easier! What didn't occur to me until it was too late was that gardening in the rain means getting seventy different kinds of muddy. Even that was fun until I realized that I'm the loser who has to clean it up with someone (read: me, loser) tracks mud into the house. Oh well. I waited until it dried a little to take photos:

Here's the rose glow barberry, cordyline red star, and Huntington carpet rosemary:

Also, mounds of dirt above the slope where I still need to ritually sacrifice the roses (I pulled one out on Saturday!) and get some nicer plants in.

Here's the "razzleberri" chinese fringe flower:

It should get to be about 3' x 3', so hopefully it'll fill it quite a bit and provide an exclamation point at the end of the yard.

I also went out and bought a bunch of tricolor sedum and another firepower nandina to fill in around the rocks. Ground cover's one of my highest priorities, seeing as how without it to soften the rocks, my front yard will resemble a quarry or low-rent beach renewal project you'd see in some trashy Delawere beach town.

Rock Me Amadeus!

2005-10-06T17:18:00.000-07:00

The rock slope project is completed! It only took me a week (although it was PMS week, so LAY OFF, OKAY! *sob*), but the slope's done and I just bought a metric shedload of plants.

There are a few disappointments. This batch of basalt seems smaller, on average, than the last batch. Which is good for my back, actually, but it does look a little mismatched to me. The new side is also much less steep as the other as a result of putting in more planting niches. I also still haven't gotten around to preparing the planting area above the slope. I don't like the roses—scratch that, I HATE the roses—but it feels wasteful and ungrateful to just get rid of them. Does any one want any unkempt roses that are probably mostly suckers by now?

Among the new (hopefully not moribund) plants I bought: tons of creeping rosemary (I'm hoping it'll do something like this:

to soften the rocks a little), a "razzleberri" chinese fringe flower:

(yes, I know the name is awful and self-consciously cutesy in that Vaseline-toothed Miss Texas way, but I like the foliage, damnit), several cordylines that look like this one:

as well some ajuga for groundcover and a few other things that slip my mind at the moment. I think I got another nandina, actually, but only one beacuse it's the end of the season and Christ are there ever some pitiful-looking plants haunting the nursery section of Home Depot. It's almost as depressing as the aisle of grungy used toys at the ghetto Goodwill.

I'm aiming to get the plants in the ground this weekend, and I'll try to take some photos. In the meantime, I'll wrestle with my inner laundry-scoop saver and figure out what to do with the damn roses.

Rock On, Part Two

2005-09-28T15:49:00.000-07:00

Current status of the rock slope project:

I know, the photo quality sucks. It was really foggy this morning and I was taking photos at the same time I was shoehorning a fried egg down my gullet and power-walking to the bus stop at 8:23 AM.

Yes, I've still got LOTS of work to do—the rocks are going to the top of the steps, where the painted part of the concrete starts, to align with the other side.

There will definitely be more planting holes than on the other side, though:

Hey, you think I can get thrown in the stripey hole for misusing my recycling bin like that? I swear, I emptied the rocks out of it before I put it out on Monday night.

ROWYCO!*

2005-09-27T16:04:00.000-07:00

Last weekend Michael was away on his big vroom-vroom motorcycle trip. Lonely and seeking a purpose (besides lounging, unshowered and partially dressed, staring slack-jawed at hour upon hour of HGTV programming), I decided to order up two tons of basalt and work on the yard.

The front yard slopes and is dominated by a large cedar tree which blocks light and drops needles year-round. Hence, grass doesn't like to grow (and even if it did I sure as hell wouldn't want to mow it) and previous attempts at planting groundcover were, well, disappointing (see below). So last year, on a whim, I ordered three and a half tons of basalt for the south side of the front yard. Michael convinced me not to rock the whole thing, and leave some planting beds, which have worked out pretty well, I think:

Emboldened by my previous success and determined to repeat it, I've begun work on the north side of the yard. Here are the before pictures:

I've dug out most of the slope and probably gotten about a third of the rocks placed. I'm using less density this time, since the south side got some complaints before the plants grew in (you know who you are, Nosey Parkers) and the north side gets more direct light so there are more opportunities for new plants to play with (and, eventually, kill).

I'll be posting photos as the project progresses, but it's going to look pretty dismal until the plants go in.

* What can I say? K-Fed's the shizzle.

Floored, Part Two

2005-09-16T13:29:00.000-07:00

The floor's in! The floor's in!

The blue stuff coming up around the sides is the insulation between the radiant heating elements and the wood. We ended up using a different Kährs product, a solid wood instead of a laminate, since the wood veneer was too thin and between the moisture and the heat from the radiant there was a risk it could peel up. This was more money per square foot, but with a space this small it's worth it. Finding a floor that isn't tile that works with radiant heading is a challenge.

There's also progress being made on the siding:

I assume the vertical board nailed to the side near the front is to attach the decorative bracket made to match the original ones.

On another note, here's something that inpires confidence:

WTF's the question here? Is someone not sure what's supposed to come out of the spigot seven feet above the shower pan?

Random Graffiti

2005-09-13T16:06:00.000-07:00

The First Step is Admitting You Have a Problem

2005-09-13T15:47:00.000-07:00

"Hi, my name is Alexis."

"Hi, Alexis!"

"And I have a problem with furniture scale."

You see, part of me wishes that I lived in a one-level, open-plan ranch house with acres of open space joining the living room, dining room and kitchen. That's the same part of me that apparently saw fit to purchase two hulking dark-gray armchairs and a 53" long glass-topped rectangular coffee table for my living room.

I've lived with this set-up for years now, only surviving by pushing most of the furniture far away from the high-traffic areas and moving fairly cautiously amongst (or over) the furniture when I must. Enter: Michael. Michael appears to be missing the part of his brain that conceptualizes how his body takes up space in relation to his surroundings. To wit: he bangs into stuff. A lot. Well, it seems like a lot to someone who looks like Courtney Love's scruffier and even-more-coked-out little sister just by brushing up against a surface with a hardness greater than that of gypsum. Yes, that's how badly I bruise, so quit giving me shit for acting like Sam Jackson in Unbreakable.

In any event, Michael barks his shins on the coffee table. Often. So often, in fact, that I wince a little whenever his phone rings in anticipation of the audible barking of shin on glass. Add that to the problem of Silent Bob bonking her head on the underside of the table when she's trying to jump up no longer seeming cute rather than the cause of her incipient feline senility, and it seems certain that it's time to replace some furniture.

The table isn't too hard. this more or less fits the bill, although I would prefer something smaller, maybe 30" in diameter rather than 34":

I have no attachment to the Ikea coffee table. After all, that's what Ikea is for: disposable furniture that never makes a serious enough impression on you, whether positive or negative, to keep you from pitching it into the nearest unattended dumpster when it becomes inconvenient. Kinda like a guy you meet online (kidding).

The chairs, though, are another matter altogether. I love them dearly and irrationally. They're comfortable to sit in as well as flop one's self over, the gray fabric hides a multitude of sins (I'm looking at you, Bob), and they're pretty stylish without being all "Hey! Look at me! I'm a trendy seating unit purchased by someone who spends too much time concerned about interior decorating and hence has no inner life to speak of!" Or something. Anyway, I like the chairs, and getting rid of them will be difficult to rationalize, considering they're the first "real" (ie, not Ikea, not scrounged) furniture I've ever bought. I suppose they could go into the guest room, but I really don't want to encourage guests to stay that long. On the other hand, the backup TV (for when I want to watch "What Not To Wear" or Michael wants to watch football and neither of us are feeling generous enough to force ourselves to humor the other, offending-TV-watching one) is in the guest room…

This leads us to FURNITURE SHOPPING! Which is really fun, as long as I don't let my inner penny-pinching Frugal McCheapPants get too mouthy. Or let myself go crazy in Ikea, where I will buy yet more disposable furniture.

This appeals:

The color works, and the size is right, but it doesn't look like it encourages floppy TV watching and/or idle flossing during the evening news.

This one has a nice mid-century look and a fairly small footprint:

But doesn't come in any colors that won't look like ass in 2.4 seconds and, well, the price seems little high for a store that's aimed at hipsters who get sniffy at Pottery Barn.

The real challenge will come with the eventual purchase of a real sofa. What makes the current sofa somewhat unreal or virtual? Well, I'd say that when it's a twice-over hand-me-down and you paid more for the eBay slipcover for it than you did for the alcohol-fueled thank you dinner for the poor schmucks who helped you move it, your couch may not be real. At the very least you should be ashamed of still owning said couch in a non-trashed setting (garage/basement = okay, living room = not okay) if you're over the age of 30. Which I am. Which is why I end up looking at couches like this on craigslist:

Pray for me and my living room.

Trim... and Pussy!

2005-09-05T16:53:00.000-07:00

More architecturally appropriate trim, courtesy of Barb the contractor:

That's the door leading from the landing at the top of the steps into the New! Bathroom! The color's Rodda "Wheat". Anyway, the trim is great. Too bad the guy who converted the attic to bedrooms back in the 80s didn't bother to match the trim.

Only tangentially related to the project, and in the most inaccurate way possible, here's Silent Bob in her new favorite basking spot, the old carpet at the top of the stairs:

Aw, cat muffin:

Give me a break. I only recently started figuring out how to photograph a mostly-black cat. Took me a mere five years, too.

Color Me Wanting to Pee!

2005-09-01T21:09:00.000-07:00

The color is up on the walls and it's looking great:

And if it doesn't look great, it's your monitor, you cheap bastard.

This one's a little blown out, but it kinda shows how well the color coordinates with the tile I picked out:

Floofy!

2005-08-30T14:49:00.000-07:00

Spotted while running errands in NW Portland today:

How cute is that?

Bungalow Fever Strikes Again...

2005-08-27T13:48:00.000-07:00

Here's more photos of what they're building a block over:

I wasn't thrilled with the roof slope over the balcony at first, but it's starting to grow on me. The mint green trim (hard to see in the photos) isn't to my taste, though. Hell, it's not just awful, it's GODAWFUL.

The Home Stretch

2005-08-22T17:05:00.000-07:00

Why is it that the closer you come to the end of a remodelling project, the longer it seems to take?

In any event, current progress report:

The kneewall is up:

and the door's been hung:

Vindication!

2005-08-09T18:58:00.000-07:00

Michael Graves is often criticized for valuing form over function. From the structural issues that plague the Portland Building to teakettles that scald their users, the man has a reputation for designing objects that most closely resemble the average career stripper: beautiful to look at, but inherently broken.

However, I've found one thing he's able to create that not only looks nice, but actually works:

the Michael Graves flyswatter!

It's that time of the year and the flies seem to be breeding like, uh, rabbits. I came home today to a scene from the Amityville Horror. I keep trying to relieve my utter disgust by viewing these winged garbage eaters as a source of exercise for Silent Bob, but honestly? Even she isn't that interested anymore.

So out came the Graves flyswatter, a gift from a design-oriented former boss, bless her heart. Believe it or not, I nailed three of the hellgnats in less than a minute!

Perhaps it's just my mad phat flyswatting skills, but I'm willing to give this victory to Michael Graves.

More Mystery Plants

2005-08-04T20:33:00.000-07:00

This is a bushy thing that dies completely back in the winter and blooms in the summer:

So far not too invasive, which makes me think it's not a weed.

This vine gets really aggressive during the summer, but just kinda hangs around during the winter. The flowers are really pretty:

but I'm getting sick of Audrey Two trying to eat the grill:

Vine: "Feed me, Seymour!"

Me: "That's my goddamn ahi. You better step off, or I'll Crossbow your ass."

So close to being a real bathroom, I want to pee in it

2005-08-04T14:18:00.000-07:00

The new bathroom is really starting to take shape. We passed inspection last week (yay!), so the contractors were able to close everything up and get started on finish work.

Here's a view of the blue board, with the toilet hookups on the right and sink hookups on the left:

The future home of my Huge, Throbbing Shower Enclosure:

I guess we're waiting on the backer board for behind the tile.

Skylight (with screen!) on right and exhaust fan on left:

And a closer view of the new wood windows:

What's really exciting for me is how it looks from the outside:

I like how my contractor coordinated the size and configuration of the new windows with the existing downstairs window.

There's currently a huge stack of drywall on the front porch, but between the contractor's vacation next week and the drywallers running behind schedule, it doesn't look like Michael's going to get a new bathroom for his birthday (8/17). Which is disappointing, but not really surprising. The progress the last few weeks has been impressive, though.

Groovy!

2005-07-25T18:36:00.000-07:00

The tongue and groove eaves on the dormer are up:

My contractor is very proud of this, as well she should be — they got it and some of the fascia up with only one "psyche!" while the intern was using the nail gun.

In other news, my downstairs bathroom looks like a scene from Brazil. Compare:

And contrast:

A slightly cheerier color, but pretty similar, don't you think?

Bust a Cap in Yo Ass

2005-07-25T14:13:00.000-07:00

Normally, I love Overstock.com, despite that annoying, porny, orangey-fake-tanned spokeswhore on tv. Good deals on sheets, clothes, DVDs and uniformly great customer service. Sometimes, though, Overstock goes horribly, horribly wrong:

We've all seen lucite toilet seats with fish or other cutesy bathroom-themed objects in them. Kitschy? Sure. But nothing that would make you plotz in a Bloodbath & Beyond. But yes, Virginia, those are bullets in the toilet seat:

In the pantheon of Bad and Wrong, ammo-related accessories are a Zeus-level no-no. The fake bullet hole slicks for the side of your aftermarket exhaust-sporting Yugo were bad enough. Taking a dump on top of "simulated bullets" (at least they're not using live ammo) tops every twisted home decor-related judgement ever made.

My favorite part: "Make a bold statement in any home or office with these hard-wearing Acrylic Toilet Seats..." Home or OFFICE, people. I guess even Herbert Kornfeld needs an appropriate place to pewp over at Midstate Office Supply.

Duh

2005-07-20T16:40:00.000-07:00

I forgot to buy hinges. Or a doorknob.

Christ. Is "pathetisad" a word?

Door Prize!

2005-07-20T16:24:00.000-07:00

In the interest of giving us back our hallway, the contractor wanted to make sure we had a door. There was much wrangling over who would actually procure said door, as I 1) cannot carry a door myself without injuring parts of my anatomy that I normally prefer to ignore and 2) don't know much about what makes a good used door. Yes, I know, molehills != mountains, but I worry about stuff like that. So I went to Rejuvenation, where people are generally nice and the place is clean and not all crudded-up with cast off crap from people like me and full of spiders.

Lo and behold! The Door:

I know, nothing special, but I only paid $50 and managed to drag in out of the car and prop it up against the side of the house without hernating my o-ring or something, and I think it'll clean up nicely. We'll see.

Since I missed my bus this morning anyway, I decided to take a few photos of the construction project around the corner from me:

The angles are a little weird and clash somewhat with the surrounding traditional bungalows, but I like how I envision the space feeling inside. Maybe I'll skulk around the front yard later and see if I can snap and photos of the inside. Or, maybe not. Bail ain't cheap, yo.

Current status of the dormer:

We're going to leave it fairly open to the elements for the next few days, so the contractor and her peeps get some relief from the heat. I'm crossing my fingers that I'll actually have a full roof when I come home tonight! How sad, that the idea of getting the roof completed seems like an unimaginable treat. I'm really looking forward to seeing what the mound 'o' roofing materials did to the recently-reseeded grass in the front yard. Eh, I did a pretty half-assed job with the grass seed anyway.

More Framing, and I PEED IN THE SINK FOR NO REASON

2005-07-19T12:40:00.000-07:00

As you can see, we've gotten more of the dormer framed out:

There are now side walls and some plywood to keep Silent Bob from sneaking out to attend concerts in the middle of the night. Last night I heard another ruckus of the roof, so either my tailless, clawless, toothless old cat is much craftier than I gave her credit for, or morbidly obese squirrels are performing Cirque du Soleil-esque acrobatics directly above my bed.

We can also see how the landing will layout with the New! Wall!:

This excites me more than it reasonably should. I took more photos last night but appletinis + poor lighting = really bad digital photography.

In addition to the appletinis, I also consumed copious amounts of asparagus. Stinky asparagus pee is usually nothing more than a joke, a novelty, something to leave behind in the bathroom to horrify your friends and family; but last night it took on a new dimension of horror.

My contractor had told me that I would be out a toilet last night. I was wary at first, but realized that as long as I had a shower and a sink and dropped the kids off at the pool yesterday at work, I'd be hunky-dory. In fact, I was so addled by the sheer volume of ice cream cake residing in my gut after I got home last night, that I neglected to parse the fact that water in the bowl generally means the toilet is functional. So I peed in the sink for no good reason. Stinky asparagus pee, too, which I had to rinse down with carelessly flung-about water from the sink tap in order to dispel the noxious odor of wet dog slathered in Limberger downwind of a paper mill.

Lesson learned: always return your contractor's phone calls. Always.

In more construction-related news, the new pipes went in for the upstairs toilet:

It's hard to tell, but the valve thingy ends below the ceiling, so they'll have to drop it a foot. No big loss, since it's a 9' ceiling and I was going to tear out the plaster and drywall it eventually anyway.

This afternoon I'll try to take photos of the framing for the windows and skylight. The skylight just tickles me to no end.

I've Been Framed

2005-07-14T16:21:00.000-07:00

Framing's almost done, and everything's moving so fast I don't have time to upload the pictures I've taken until they've already made so much progress that the photos I do upload are out of date. I blame it on this stupid job. Bleh.

Here's the exterior as of 7/7:

This is Esther, the carpenter:

She's kinda shy, but wields a mean nail gun.

This is looking into the guest bedroom from what was the landing, but is now primarily Silent Bob's Squirrel Patrol Base Camp (yes, I have been awoken a few times by the sound of a declawed cat tumbling down the roof and thudding into the roofer's left-behind nailers):

Finally, the view across the street to Sour Sue's house:

I was chased out of the bathroom this morning by sledgehammer-wielding women, so I'll probably have some, uh, "deconstructed" views of my existing bathroom soon, along with the more fully framed-out dormer.

IT BEGINS!

2005-07-06T17:03:00.002-07:00

I'd never thought I'd be so happy to have a damned hole in my roof. But when Michael emailed me to tell me that the contractor was bringing in lumber, I started bouncing in my office chair and clapping my hands like a toddler who's just figured out how to steal food from the dog.

It's hard to get a good idea of what's going on under the tarp, but here's the view from the front of the house:

And from the side yard:

Here's Michael proudly posing in front of the Tarp of Doom (that's the bedroom door behind him):

And here's what I got when I stuck the camera around the side of the tarp to see where my Shiny! New! Bathroom! will be:

Yay! Now we just have to chase the gremlins out of the wiring and get the fan working again in the ~~fetid swamp~~ downstairs bathroom.

Mysteries of the Deep

2005-06-22T21:31:00.000-07:00

We've had to wait a week or so for the demo of the roof to make way for the dormer. The good news is, I have the most fastidious contractor EVER. She not only taped down masonite to protect the fir floors downstairs, she also set up a zippered tarp rig suitable for Ebola decontamination to keep the demo dust contained:

In the course of ripping out the drywall that stands between me and a stair-free middle-of-the-night pee, Barb apparently made some... discoveries:

A bizarre time capsule? Possibly. Since my next door neighbor is the one who converted the attic to bedrooms, I suppose I could ask him about the doll. The other item, though?

I really don't want to know.

New Roof! Kinda.

2005-06-22T21:01:00.002-07:00

So they did, literally, tear the roof off this mother. At 8AM on a Saturday in a torrential downpour, no less. Gotta hand it to those roofers. They may be the equivalent of dishwashers in the construction hierarchy, but when they decide to do something, they certainly do it. Here's the old roof:

Here's the new roof:

You may be wondering, "Hey, what's up with all the extra shingles?". Well, they're for the rest of the roof, which has yet to be completed:

Now, we expected to find some dry rot on the south side of the house. What I wasn't prepared for was exactly HOW MUCH dry rot the roofers would find:

400 lineal feet of dry rot under the eaves, to be precise. That nice, pretty new wood you see there is cedar lap. Not cheap, my friends. Not cheap at all.

Add this additional cost to the existing SNAFU that almost got my neighbor across the street a new roof (an object lesson in rechecking addresses on bids), and we're inching further and further upward in cost for this tear-off. And the plumber's not even here yet.

Retroonline.com

2005-06-10T14:59:00.000-07:00

Everyone loves mid-century modern right now. But how many can justify spending $250 on a George Nelson ball clock or $5400 for a freakin' artichoke lamp?

While their site design may remind you uncomfortably of your first c. 1997 web page (blue links on a black background?!), Retroonline.com has knock-out knock-offs for those of us who still shop at Ikea.

The Nelson-style ball clock:

at $35.99 and artichoke lamp knockoff:

are particular stand-outs when it comes to getting more mod bang for your hard-earned buck. And don't forget their awesome selection of beaded curtains, which, frighteningly enough, the Grey Lady seems to think are just ginchy.

Shopping List

2005-05-27T12:05:00.000-07:00

One of the tasks I've been procrastinating for waaay too long is making solid decisions on what I want in my new bathroom. This is because I know that as soon as I have the list, I'll know how much it's all going to cost, and that super freaks me out. But it's something that I need to do, so here goes:

Item	Source	Cost

Toto Drake toilet in Cotton White or Colonial White	Home Click item#CST744S	$205.92

Toto Softclose Seat in Cotton White or Colonial White	Home Click item#SS114	$45.00

Swanstone 42" x 42" shower receptor in White	Fixtures Direct item #SS-4242	$328.78

Hakatai Carter glass mosaic tile in Light Blue/Ice Green blend (for shower walls)	Hakatai sku: UA312m	Retail is $5.29 per 1.15 ft2 sheet ($228 for 49 ft2). Contractor pricing is available. Contractor needs to call 541-552-0855 to set up account.

Frameless pivot shower doors	?	?

21" x 12" shower niche with shelf	Bonsal item #PF 304	$64.15 (Call 800-548-4033 to order)

Kohler MasterShower Family 3-way Showerhead	Home Depot item #8508-CP	$56.55

Kährs Linnea in Maple 2-strip Life	Floorshop item #372085AP50LEWL	$2.59 per ft2 ($163) + installation and underlayment

George Kovacs Pierce bath sconce x 2	Home Click item #P5001	$45.75 x 2

Nutone 100 CFM Bath fan/light	Home Depot item #162955	$99.00

Udden console with integral stainless sink + cabinets	Ikea item #40059654	$257

Illern faucet (if compatible)	Ikea	$50

So, the total comes to... $1588.90, not including shipping, installation, or substrates (for floor and tile).

The only two things I've ever bought that cost that much were my house and my car. And the car is pushing it.

Got Wood?

2005-05-18T13:11:00.000-07:00

My contractor thinks that hardwood floors will be okay in a bathroom with an electric radiant heat system, but other sources state that laminate is preferable because it's less likely to warp.

It's never easy, is it?

In any event, the Kährs Linnea product in Maple:

is awfully pretty in that sleek, Skandihoovian way.

It's a glueless, click-together product that comes prefinished and without underlayment for $2.59 per sq.ft. Not sure how my contractor's floor guys will feel about it, though. Probably smells like lingonberries. Ew.

Overcharged on my Reality Check

2005-05-13T11:47:00.000-07:00

The custom cabinetry route isn't looking all that attractive anymore. I'd probably pay $1000 for a custom vanity if I was going to stay in the house for more than a year or so. Instead, I need to start exploring my options again:

This one includes the granity top and undermount sink, but the shipping would kill me:

Plus? Backordered.

This one also comes with the granite top, but not the sink:

Again with the shipping.

Hot Date

2005-05-06T11:08:00.000-07:00

I'm meeting with the contractor tonight. Here's the list of questions I currently have for her:

In what order will the work take place (roof first, then what)?

The roofers tear off the roof and start replacing it while the plumbers, drywallers and HVAC peeps get started inside.
What decisions still need to be made and when do they need to be made by?

Still need to figure out exactly what we're going with tile (shut up), choose some fixtures, and make a decision on the floors.
Will the downstairs bathroom be out of commission during construction? If so, for how long? What changes will need to be made to accommodate construction? (she already told me that they might have to shift the toilet to the diagonal, which is a little weird)

Yes, diagonal toilet (I have a feeling this is going to be some awkward feng shui), but no significant downtime — the toilet will be ripped out and replaced while I'm at work.
The Toto Drake toilet is available for $227 and free shipping on HomeClick.com — is this a good price?

She's gonna ask the plumber.
Swanstone 42" X 42" shower receptor is $460 for the nice patterns at FixturesDirect.com — can we get it cheaper?

See above.
How much would it cost to run an extra showerhead?

Negligible. The real question is going to be whether or not I'll have enough water pressure for two heads.
Will you be able to tell me when I need to initiate the various inspections?

Contractor will be responsible for initiating and responding to inspections.
How long will it take to have custom cabinetry made?

Six to eight weeks. The real issue is whether or not I want to spend $1000 on custom cabinetry. I'm thinking not.
Will I have to arrange for the drop box for the roof tear-off or will the roofers handle that?

Hey! Roofers are good for something (besides scoring dope) after all!
And finally, when do we kick off demo and I get to start FUCKING SHIT UP?!

June 1 bay-bee! Yeehaw! I'll be there with a smile on my face and a reciprocating saw clutched in my hot little hands.

I'll post answers, hopefully, this weekend or Monday.

Tile Update

2005-05-06T11:03:00.000-07:00

Believe it or not, a mention in Dwell Magazine's "Hot Products" section isn't enough to start shit flying off the shelves. The closest Eco-Terr stockist to me is in Seattle, and the only color I like that they have in stock is the Crema di Parma, which is what I was leaning toward anyway. Which is fortunate, because the cost of special ordering this stuff from some village in Italy (where they probably don't even have ATMs, the socialist heathens) is more than the cost of the tiles themselves. Another excuse to road trip to Seattle!

More Tile Madness

2005-05-03T13:25:00.000-07:00

Once again, I'm reminded that I have to start making some decisions about the bathroom. My new flavor-of-the-month is Eco-Terr tiles. In case you were wondering, yes I got a lot of hits for smelly freaks who live in trees and shoplift to protest The Man raping Mother Nature when I Googled. Whatever, dude, pass the bong.

Anyway, Eco-Terr tiles are "sustainable tile agglomerates made of natural stone aggregate materials with a cement binder" and here are the patterns I like so far:

White Gem

Crema di Parma

Spring White

Of course, there's no pricing information on the website or locations for where I can go see it, so I registered and am now waiting for some unctious saleswhore to email me with a "password" to see samples. Remind me never to create a "gated" sales site like these assclowns again.

Wedding Gift Idea

2005-04-27T10:58:00.000-07:00

A suitable "fuck you" gift when the cheapest thing on the registry is a $120 butter dish.

Identity Crisis

2005-04-20T15:48:00.000-07:00

I haven't been finding many bathroom vanities that thrill me. They're either the wrong size, uglier than three-day-old sin, or cost more than my car. So I'm turning to kitchen cabinets.

Crapkea, of course, is my Swedish go-to guy of stores:

This is a good size and could look pretty nice with a new countertop.

This system comes as a steel console with the option of a built-in sink and cabinets than can be mounted underneath.

Perhaps a little cold and industrial, but the walls and floors and stuff could soften it a little, right? Okay, I'm going to shower in an abattoir every morning.

Floored

2005-04-20T15:08:00.000-07:00

While I lovelovelove the idea of cork floors, I just don't think it's going to be practical for a bathroom. So I'm reconsidering the default bathroom floor choice, ceramic tile. We're getting to the point where decisions need to be made, supplies purchased, and stuff ripped out — time to figure out a color palette.

I like green for walls and tile accents, but I'm not sure if a green tile floor will be too "luck-o-the-Irish" or look dated in a few years. I could go with something boring and beige:

Or boring and gray:

Or go for more color:

But then I look at something like this:

And shudder to think about where my ideas might fall on the Good-Bad-Ugly spectrum.

Purge Overkill

2005-04-19T11:57:00.000-07:00

Part of the cohabitation process is making room for the person who's going to start sharing your space as well as your life. Compromises are made, concessions offered, and hopefully no one ends up bitter and resentful, screaming into the night, "I GAVE UP MY VACUUM FOR YOU, YOU WORTHLESS BASTARD!"

Fortunately, I'm the anti-pack rat. I purge with impunity, and only rarely feel connections to stuff or regret when I throw it away. I enjoy the satisfaction of culling through grunge band t-shirts, old school papers, and overexposed photos of someone's foot and building a respectable pile of Goodwill donations, recycling, and trash. Since Michael is moving in this weekend, I'm fully in Urge to Purge mode. The most hotly contested area of the house is the basement, which currently functions as a spider-infested repository for anything I don't know what to do with. I've been tossing crap into its gaping maw willy-nilly for five years, so there's plenty of work to do. Purge ho!

Being the ~~anal-retentive~~ well-organized Virgo that I am, I took copious measurements of my basement — complete with annotations of immovable structures, support beams, light fixtures, and electrical sockets — and drew a scaled plan for the purposes of planning how we should use the space. My boyfriends at the Bureau of Development Services would be so proud. Now that we have a detailed map of how it's going to be set up, right down to the last shelving unit, it's time for me to make it happen.

First up, the Box Brigade. Yes, I'm cheap. Yes, I save cardboard boxes. Why pay for a piddly little box to ship a gift in when you can reuse the one that your last Zappos.com indulgence came in? Well, it was time to let it go. Thanks to my sucking up to my company's IT department (Hi Dave!), I now have access to boxes large and small. So the boxes went. It was almost too gratifying, breaking down the cardboard with a fresh blade in my box cutter. I may have gone too far, slicing up boxes that Michael could have used in the move in my zeal to reduce it all into easy-recycled 2' X 3' pieces. But when I get a taste for exposed corrugation, it's hard to stop. Perhaps it's a problem.

Second, the Nostalgia Depot. Two large plastic bins filled with the detritus of being a thenthitive teenager. Dead Kennedys bumper stickers that I didn't have a car to affix to, painfully earnest high school literary magazines, and yearbooks galore. Sorting through this last night raised many questions:

Why were my bangs so big? Spending the '80s in Texas is not an excuse.

Who were these boys writing me love poems and why didn't I laugh at them?

What was the deal with all the photos of people I don't even remember? My mother must have gone broke paying for the developing. And finally

How could I have taken myself so seriously?

How utterly mortifying. I was glad to discard most of it. Hell, I even shredded some of the more embarrassing bits. Most of it, though, was fairly neutral, even if somewhat cringeworthy. I pitched the third, fourth, and fifth copies of my undergraduate thesis (two bound copies are quite enough). The student newspapers that I never contributed to were no-brainers. The college notebooks were gleefully disemboweled and appropriately divided between recycling and trash.

There were a few pangs, a few uncertainties, and some wistfulness. I kept the high school prom corsage that was given to me by someone whose name I no longer remember. The photos of people who worked for my stepfather and rallied around me in grief when he died will stay. I feel some regret for throwing away the intricate drawings that a boy from middle school made for me, but only time will tell. So far it's nowhere near as bad as the figurative self-flagellation I indulge in once a month or so when I think about the signed first edition of Galapagos I sold.

Even if I do feel some loss for what I've gotten rid of, it's more than offset by what I'm making room for. Memories are comforting and safe, but making new ones is a much better use of my time and square footage.

iOffice

2005-04-15T15:48:00.000-07:00

It's amazing how iTunes gets people in an office talking to one another when they'd normally just grunt in passing in the halls. We've had an influx of new hires, and it's really neat to see that the new woman in QA has everything Radiohead's ever done, and likes your Dead Can Dance collection. Or when a guy who's visiting from another office comes looking for you because you have a bunch of music from the same obscure art-rock band you both loved in college.

iTunes: one place where there can never be too much sharing.

Bathroom Tile

2005-04-14T14:16:00.000-07:00

There's daltile, Ann Sacks, Pratt & Larson, and they're all trying to suck me dry.

They seduce me with iridescent pebbles:

Gorgeous glass:

and all sort of other things I really can't justify spending $20 per sq.ft. for.

Hakatai has the buzz. Their glass mosaic tiles grace Anthropologie stores and NYC public restrooms alike.

This is a little overwhelming:

But something more restrained:

except with a colored field instead of the white might be a good compromise.

They also have a nice cobblestone/pebble style:

I like the restraint (or is it frugality?) of using it for one section of wall and an accent strip. This stuff, of course, costs $24 per sq.ft.

The Carter Light Blue/Ice Green blend:

is, amazingly, only $4.60 per sq.ft. At that price, doing one wall of my shower enclosure will only cost $128.80. I can use the same blend as a 4-6" tall accent strip around the wall, with something like this:

in 6" field tiles on the wall below it and/or the floors.

I'm so good at spending money, I should have a degree in it. But that would have probably required math, so never mind.

Bathroom Porn

2005-04-13T10:42:00.000-07:00

Some inspiration photos:

I like the frameless glass doors and use of tile.

The large mirrors and sconces make the space feel open. Another nice use of frameless shower doors.

The contemporary cabinets and pebble tile floors have a natural look that I like. The chandelier, though. WTF?!

Again with the modern maple cabinets. Also like the mosaic tile.

I know, completely different cabinet finish, but I like the contrast between the dark wood and light counters, trim, etc.

This. This is the shower set up I want. Except without the weird bronze and black finishes and boring-ass tile.

What is this, a scene from Silkwood? I half expect to see a soap-on-a-rope shaped like a gargoyle.

Just so I can say I post every day...

2005-04-12T17:16:00.000-07:00

I really feel like I need these:

This is what happens when you watch the entire sixth season of Sex and the City over the course of one weekend.

Let there be light

2005-04-11T12:02:00.000-07:00

Currently my bed resides in a small alcove in my bedroom. The womb-like feeling is comforting, but does present some challenges. For instance, my nightstands consist of 1' X 2' planks of poplar held onto the wall by brackets. Just enough room for an alarm clock, box of tissue, a selection of books and two paper shade lamps on each shelf. This was a perfect arrangement when it was just me and the cat, but now Michael's moving in and concessions must be made in the name of harmonious cohabitation.

He's a reader. Needs to read before going to sleep at night. I suggested counting badgers, but he's resistant. His loss, I guess but this means that in order to make my POSSLQ happy, I need to upgrade the reading light to something that gives off a better glow than a low-wattage recycled European bulb perilously attached to a crappily made Swedish knock-off of one of Noguchi's lesser works. Preferably something that doesn't take up much space and possibly mounts on the wall.

The Save Your Marriage light appeals:

But looks too much like it belongs in a Motel 6 where you'd use the ice bucket tongs to fling the Ebola-saturated bedspread into a corner of the room. The Artemide Tolomeo wall spot is quite swank looking:

But costs too much and has a reputation for being a bit shoddily made.

Fortunately, I found the Pierce Flexi-Arm:

Functional and attractive, it has a dimmer and can be hardwired or plug-in. And the price! While I feel bad about finding it at a local lighting showroom and ordering it for half the price online, I can always buy something else there in the future (new vanity lights for the bathroom, maybe?) to assuage my guilt.

In the meantime, Michael will be able to read without jeopardizing his damned perfect vision, and I'll have something to taunt the cat with.

Project Update 3: Bathroom Addition

2005-04-08T13:33:00.000-07:00

Good news! My HELOC through USAA is closing on Tuesday. They sent me the paperwork weeks ago but I never filled it out because of the Rummer Bummer. When I called today to restart the process, I was told that I was approved for a $30K HELOC at prime minus 0.26% and that they were FedExing the papers today.

So, go USAA! If you're a military brat, look into it, seriously. Nice peeps and low rates.

Steel Away

2005-04-07T09:36:00.000-07:00

A column in the New York Times has finally taken a bold step away from stainless steel. The ne plus ultra of appliance finishes may finally be waning, but I'm not holding my breath.

Stainless has irked me for years now. The ubiquity, the inevitable call-outs in real estate listings (always paired with granite slab counters), the perceived value of something that's actually harder to care for and keep clean as manifested in three-figure premiums on appliances. Being unable to affix stupid bumper stickers to a stainless steel refrigerator with magnets. Irky McAnnoyingpants.

It's not that I have a grudge against industrial-looking home décor. I look at some of the houses in Dwell and imagine how cool it would be to knock out the back wall of my 1912 bungalow and install commercial garage doors:

What I hate about stainless steel appliances is the lockstep herd mentality of YOU MUST FOLLOW THIS TREND OR ELSE. I hate that they'll look as dated as an avocado green range in ten years. I hate that they are a part of the industrialization of kitchens most prominent among people who rarely, if ever cook. I hate that it's the default choice, and that a stainless dishwasher costs several hundred dollars more than the same thing in white.

At the heart of it, though, I'm a craven alternawhore. Something as universally popular, as strivingly affluent as stainless steel must suck. It just must. It sucks because the suburban soccer moms who order pizza three nights a week flock to stainless steel commercial gas ranges that require a team of coal-shoveling midgets to keep stoked. It sucks because every self-entitled mindless spendthrift who gets the 25% APR Home Depot credit card uses it to buy a new kitchen full of stainless steel appliances. It sucks because it's a hollow class marker that never signified anything besides navel-gazing Bobo loft living to begin with.

Needless to say, when it comes time to list my house, I'll be replacing all the appliances with stainless steel. Until then, though, I reserve the right to mock it mercilessly and look down on those who follow the herd.

Moo.

Vanity, thy name is WTF?!

2005-04-06T17:12:00.000-07:00

I never would have thought that one of the biggest outlays of dough on a simple bathroom addition could the vanity. The humble place I shit up with all my facial cleaners, depilatory tools and various electrified dental implements doesn’t usually deserve much thought. Until, of course, I realize that everything in the “vanity” family sold through Home Depot and Lowes is just unspeakably ugly in that “I remodeled my house in 1989 with the intention of renting it to leprotic students with large dogs” way. I started to venture out to some of my usual haunts on the web, looking for something that wouldn’t look like it was salvaged from an 80s tract home outside Destin. That’s when I found out that vanities can be godawful expensive.

This one:

has an MSRP of $4310.

More than four thousand dollars for something to hold The Economist between shits and house my tampon collection. Unbelievable.

This one I'm quite partial to:

MSRP: $3725. But the drain and P-trap are included! What a steal!

Unless I want to sell my car to buy a new vanity, I have three choices: a) go with ass, b) truck up to IKEA and buy a vanity that will not work with any sink or faucet available in the US because Swedes do it different (yes, I'm still bitter about those light fixtures), or c) buy a piece of freestanding furniture and convert it into a vanity.

How much is my life energy worth? Good question. We'll have to see.

Project Update 2 : Bathroom Addition

2005-04-06T13:56:00.000-07:00

I flashed some leg at the Bureau of Development Services and finally got my permits for the dormer and new bathroom! The contractor is saying she can start at the end of this month, which is perfect timing since that's when Michael will be moving in.

If we can survive this, we'll be together forever. Or until one of us dies at the hand of the other.

Now comes the fun part — choosing fixtures and finishes I can't afford.

Tool of the Week

2005-04-06T10:50:00.000-07:00

The award for Tool of the Week goes to the Milwaukie Super Sawzall:

Unfortunately, I don't own it, Michael does. But it's a damn good reason for me to keep dating him, so that should prove how worthwhile a tool it is.

I've been using it to cut through drywall to see what lurks under (and above) the eaves of my house where I'm going to knock out the dormer and add a bathroom. This shit cuts through drywall like... well, shit. Or butter, if you're not into scatalogical vivisection. A good reciprocating saw will rip through studs, if you're not careful. And it's hard to be careful when you get so excited about cutting through stuff that you start looking for more stuff to cut through. Here, kitty kitty kitty...

The Sawzall inspires such rapture that I recently spent a good ten minutes in a club with some friends waxing hyper-rhapsodic about the Godlike attributes of a reciprocating saw.

I was thinking that the DAP wall repair patch should be the Tool of the Week:

But then I had to cut through it with the aforementioned Sawzall and you know what? Destruction is more fun that construction. Demolition gives me a ladystiffy and I'm not ashamed of that.

Project Update: Bathroom Addition

2005-04-04T13:49:00.000-07:00

Now that I know that we're not going to buy the Incredible Sinking Rummer, I've returned to the drudgery of painstakingly drawing up the plans for my new dormer and bathroom addition:

Site plan

Floor plan

Cross-section

Roof framing plan

All were done with Visio Professional (the non-Professional version doesn't have the building plan templates, but you could probably work something out if you don't want to spring for the SuperDeluxe Monkey-Spank version), over the course of several visits to the third circle of Hell, Permit Night (it's only the third circle because the people aren't nearly as sadistic as I'd been told).

At this point, I feel like I could hire myself out to work on plans for people who don't want to pay a contractor or architect to do it, but don't feel like banging their heads against their desks for six weeks themselves. It helps that I've been able to noodle around with this at work. Maybe I should look into this as an alternate income stream?

Benign Neglect

2005-04-03T18:44:00.000-07:00

I'm not a great gardener. I wouldn't even call myself a competent gardener. Unfortunately, the woman I bought this house from WAS a gardener. Or at least fancied herself one. As a result, there are planting beds a-plenty and I have No. Idea. what is in most of them. Except the roses, that is. I can figure out what a rose is pretty easily.

This makes weeding rather difficult. Not knowing what are weeds and what are legitimate someone-paid-for-this plants, I've come up with a system to decide what to pull out of the ground and what to desultorily fertilize and water. My rule of thumb is that if it's growing well and prolifically, it must be a weed. Anything that looks sickly, only occasionally blooms, and never spreads is a real plant (the exception being irises, which spread like scabies at a Phish concert).

There are still some mysteries, though. I have a feeling this is a type of tulip, but I’m not sure:

It lives between the butterfly bush and some irises I relocated, blooms once a year, then summarily goes away. It’s pretty and temperamental, so I figure it must be a real flower. That, or a contestant on “America’s Next Top Model”.

The other mystery looks like something vaguely alien. It blooms very briefly, but I have a weird love affair with it, getting all jumpy and hand-clappy when it blooms every year, then pouting when it dies back:

It’s close to the I-think-it’s-a-tulip. See? It does look like a toilet brush from outer space, doesn’t it:

Finally, we have the I’m-pretty-sure-it’s-a-weed category. It has pretty flowers, but they come up really fast (sure sign of weed-dom) and They Are Legion:

Comes in purple and white, although the white ones only show up on the North side of the house:

I pulled out a metric buttload of them yesterday, but I have a feeling many more will take their place. And so, the struggle continues… although it’s really less of a struggle, and more something vaguely productive that I do on the weekends to have an excuse not to exercise.

Perspective...

2005-04-01T20:55:00.000-08:00

If the idea of a two-month-long bathroom addition or six-month-long kitchen remodel starts making you wail like Kirstie Alley at a Girl Scout cookie clearance sale, remember that the Sagrada Familia has been under construction since 1882:

No wonder Gaudí threw himself under that streetcar.